The Haircut Discussion

Couple playing with the woman's hair — Photo: Depositphotos

I spotted a Facebook post by a well-known television personality a while ago. He is infamous for his outrageous hairstyles and expressed his concern about how unfair it is for a woman to have a man fall in love with her long hair and then suddenly cut it. This sparked a lengthy and surprisingly heated discussion about the topic.

Love and relationships require much adaptation, compromise, and communication to flourish. Navigating these waters can be difficult, and one of the sore spots is often a change in one's partner's appearance. Especially when it is as drastic a change as going from long hair to short.

You have successfully grown your long locks for years, kept them nourished and shiny, and enjoyed all the compliments, but it is time for something new. Maybe you want to follow some fun fashion, have your hair be a little less demanding and easier to maintain, or perhaps show the rest of the world that something inside you has changed.

That is where things can get complicated, and you might want to think of a smooth strategy to bring the news to your loved one. We try not to appear shallow and talk about inner values being the most important in a person, but in the end, the looks of our partner, male or female, have a high ranking in our love bubble. Every drastic change in looks can have the effect of a high magnitude earthquake. It is not so much about length, but rather a fundamental change that can be threatening to the emotions of those closest to you.

It appears that men usually react more strongly to any change in the way the woman in their life looks. But that might have to do with the fact that women have a greater range of choices when it comes to styling their hair, while men mostly stay loyal to a certain look that they adopted long ago and may stick with it for many decades. It is easier for a woman to play with her hair.

We all know that very often radical changes in our external world also reflect internal changes, which is why you will need some diplomacy and tricks to ease your significant other into it smoothly.

Your head is yours, correct? You make your own choices, and every now and then, a new look can be even more uplifting than any cupcake in the world. Good news is that it comes cheaper than a new car and even less than any other modification to your body. So, how do you make your partner cheer you on?

Make him aware that not all change is a threat and that it can be a good thing, which will give you fresh energy and that he might even enjoy it! There is no real choice, because if you give in and keep your hair just because you don't want to disappoint them, something inside of you will eventually revolt and then your hair will not only be shorter, but might also get a bold new color.

Woman with a freshly cut ponytail — Photo: Hrecheniuk Oleksii via Canva

If you want to go from long hair to an adorable pixie cut, make sure that you point out women on the street or photos of great-looking women who wear a style close to what you imagine for yourself and gently gauge the reaction. If he finds them attractive too, the light just changed from red to orange; now work on getting it to green.

No matter how strong the resistance is, it is always a good idea, even for yourself, to work your hair from long to short in steps. Start with layers; the basic length will still be kept, but there are shorter sections, maybe even bangs.

The next step is to wear your hair up more often. Braid it, put it up, and show off your neck and face. Try to give it the basic shape of how short you want it without cutting it. You could also tuck your hair into your turtleneck to fake a short bob.

Cut a little at a time, so that the initial shock is spread out over time and the impact is softened, like a good conditioner. Or get a wig! It might cause a few gasps, hopefully of the positive kind, and it is not an irreversible step.

While all this is happening, start a conversation about your desire to reassess your outward expression, reassure him, make him feel safe and loved. Involve him in the process and even let him help you cut off your ponytail to launch a new you. It could be a fun process for both of you.

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