Hair Fiddling
She says that I should cut my hair short because it will get damaged anyway. Is she right? I can imagine that the fiddling is not the smartest thing to do, but will my hair get damaged just by running my hands through it?
A: I’m going out on a limb here, and guessing that your mom has a pet hate of people fiddling with their hair. This isn’t uncommon, as especially teenager girls, right through to college can be absolutely obsessed with their hair and appearance in general. People in this age group are notoriously self-conscious and preoccupied with their appearance, and especially their hair. This can be irritating for the rest of the population.
Does it damage your hair to run your hands through it a lot? No. You’re probably making it more oily, because you’re continuously stimulating the hair follicles and distributing the natural oils along the length of the hair strand with your hands. But I’m guessing that you also wash your hair once daily or every other day, since you like playing with it.
Twirling or picking at the ends might damage it though, especially if you heat style a lot or have some split ends. I would suggest that you try to be gentle with the ends and go for a four-to-six monthly haircut just to trim the ends.
It’s obvious that your mom wants you to get your hair cut because it irritates her when you fiddle with it. Kudos to you for actually caring enough to consider cutting your beautiful tresses. I don’t think you should do it, though. Most girls will be disappointed if they cut their long hair off to satisfy someone else. Cutting your hair off should really be a decision that you make for yourself, and you should be emotionally ready for the change.
If I were you, I would rather try to ascertain what the real reason is for your mother’s irritation concerning your hair. Does she feel it’s dirty? Does she feel that you play with your hair to irritate her on purpose? Does she feel that you start fiddling with the ends when you’re deliberately ignoring her or shutting the world out? Do you see what I’m getting at here? Try to understand what the real reason is behind her irritation concerning your hair.
Once you’ve figured that out, work towards a mutually satisfactory solution. If she feels that hair is dirty and it is unsanitary to play with it all the time, ask her to get a bottle of disinfectant hand-wash that you can wash your hands with before you do chores like helping to prepare dinner, etc.
Assure her that you do not play with your hair to irritate her on purpose, but that it’s a habit that you enjoy because you take pride in your hair and go to a lot of trouble to keep it in good shape. Take care to show her that you do listen to her when she speaks and make a point of it not to block her out and start playing with your hair when the two of you have a difference in opinion. This can be really frustrating for a parent.
Maybe she feels that your hair costs too much to maintain? Offer to buy some of your own products, etc.
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